i need a sunrise

i often think about the past, the good ol' days... i've been living as if the best is behind me. but i need a sunrise. as i look back i remember good times- moments, friends, laughing, late nights, the beach, sing alongs- i remember bad times- funerals, failures, endings, separations, distance. i remember sunrises- those days i drove in the dark, racing the sun to the beach- saltwater in my hair, sand on my feet- the beginning of today- squinting at right now, starting a day connected with the tide, the cycle, the earth's rotation to look toward the sun once again- i remember. It's been a while since i saw the sun rise.

i realize i can't hold on to time- and that i shouldn't try. olivia started kindergarten, eden turned 4 tuesday, grayson is rocking out to damion's music. it hurts to let time go on, but it does. so i must live right now- be there for every moment of growth, every step toward tomorrow- i am here today. yesterday is gone, tomorrow's not here yet. today is not going to be like the good ol' days- today the sunrises, and letting go of all i've held on to, i'm going to embrace it- right now, right here- a sunrise.